Nov 21, 2018

From Video 3: Dealing With People

14 comments

Do you have a heart for people? Do you like people? Can you love people who don't like you? Discuss the struggles of having a "people" centered ministry initiative.

I appreciate this video. I love people but sometimes it’s difficult to like them. Being in ministry has opened my eyes to the challenge of dealing with people that may not have anything in common with me. I struggle with placing people in the proper category of my life. I’m eager to learn more about ways to deal with and minister to people that I wouldn’t normally talk to.

Great insight Mel. Do you think that it is more important to build relationships or promote vision?

@Christopher Johnson It is more important to promote the vision in my opinion. People will come and go. Relationships will come and go. The vision may get revised however, it will still be the vision.

First , thanks Bishop for allotting time from your life to share with us, I appreciate you!

So,I believe that I am owning Zion's Vision. I am involved and excited to see how God is going to use Zion to impact His Kingdom! More importantly, I am elated that I get to serve and be a part of what He is going to do! I don't have any future plans to leave Zion, so as long as I live in Murfreesboro/tri city area I will be at Zion, implementing the vision!

I must admit that I have not dealt with many people that are difficult to deal with at Zion. I usually don't have to. I am not sure why, but I haven't! Now outside of Zion, If I don't have to interact with difficult people then I just don't! Those that I may have to deal with, I just handle the situation at hand and be done with it. I don't have a problem dealing with conflict...I do not necessarily like conflict but I will confront it when necessary. I believe in speaking truth. I believe that it is not always what you say but the manner in which you say it. So as I attempt to be wise with my words and careful my tone, I speak truth.

I am emotionally attached to some that I lead, because with some of them a bond has been formed from the different ministry given and things shared, so yes I think I may be too emotionally involved with some people.

I believe that my projects are people driven? Most of the things that I do are done with people in mind. How I can help them by educating or solving some problem. I have said it before and will say it again...early in my ministry I didn't really care for people. But God showed me that people IS what He cares about so much so that He gave His only Son.. so if I was going to be in partnership with Him then they better become what I care about too! Again, if I had my way being an introvert I would stay home and be with myself but if I am going to fulfill purpose and my assignment I have to engage with and learn how to deal with Gods precious creation humanity/PEOPLE!

@Christopher Johnson First thank you Bishop for invoking us to evaluate how we interact with people. Here are my response:

 

Are You Renting Or Owning Zion's Vision?

As I learn more and watch Zion’s growth, I am gravitating to own the vision and to partner with our Bishop. Also, it connects directly with the call of a believer to bring others to Christ. I find myself looking for various ways I can be instrumental in causing those that are lost, hurt or defeated to find out about Christ. Once I share Christ and His love then I am usually followed with the question, what church do you go to? That’s when I share about the family of Zion, the love, the welcoming and belonging to a family of people that love God and serves His people.

How Would You Respond To People That Are Difficult To Deal With?

Dealing with difficult people takes more of a mental strategy. First, you need to remind yourself that the person is dealing with some issues inside of them, possibly way before you came in the picture. I heard TD Jakes say it like this ‘hurting people, hurt people’. I have learned that most of the time, people just want to be heard and know that they matter.

In my experience, I allow that person to vent and get it all out, when I confront them with an issue. Once I let them say what they want, then I acknowledge their frustration and/or disappointment concerning the matter. My next approach is to offer help, by simply saying ‘I hear you are upset about…’, what do you think you can do about it? This will open up a conversation – communicating with two parties, as opposed to them shouting in rage.

Also, if the person is just difficult to work with other people; my approach would be to address the behavior as unaccepted and put in perspective how they would want to be treated. Bottom-line, each circumstance and person is different, however, letting them know I hear you, I empathize with you – now let us move forward to accomplish the initial goal.

Are You Emotionally Attached To Those You Lead? Do You Think You Are Too Emotionally Involved? Why? Why Not?

I find I am not emotionally attached. I do care about their needs or concerns and as a leader I must help them stay focus on the purpose of the ministry. When a person becomes emotionally attached, they can be persuaded to detour from the vision and purpose of the ministry to appease others. As leaders we must be alert, aware, firm and flexible to a certain degree. When we find ourselves second guessing our strategies because it may please someone then we have lost who this work is actually for. It’s important to have emotions. Jesus was moved with compassion and great miracles were done when that happened. So I believe we cannot be robotic in our leadership, but have a balance of love, compassion and authority.

Are You Project Driven Or People Driven?

I am people driven with a project as a tool. I believe that mainly all functions ministry related are to win people, feed people, and love people. I believe projects are just the tools we may use to do that. To be so consumed about an event and knowing it won’t be beneficial to the people you are inviting, will be a waste and inefficient. Therefore, to be people-driven to me means doing what I can do that will address the people’s needs and/or concerns.

 

Bishop J, thank you for these moments of development. I greatly appreciate your heart to see us at our greatest potential, and then push us some more. I am honored to be amongst the chosen.

 

I will say that I am an owner of the vision because I am excited about the growth of others, and I look forward to each Sunday with our online viewers. Being an owner, I am bought in to the vision and the manifestation therein.

 

I have not mastered dealing with difficult people, but I can truly say that I have gotten better. I am yet a work in process, however with the training I receive from Walmart, I am learning to see all perspectives of any situation. When I think critically, I can respond more positively because I have visited all possible causes which will lead to the root cause, and prayerfully a solution.

 

I am emotionally involved with my team, but not too involved to where if life brings changes I can't make necessary adjustments. I believe due to past dealings with people who I thought could be trusted, I try to avoid getting attached. I also have grown to understand people come and go sometimes as they see fit, and other times as God sees fit; either way I can not be so emotionally intwined that there is no smooth release.

 

I am people driven. I say that because if you educate, equip, and empower the people, the project will get done in excellence to the best of their ability. When people know that you care about them and their well being, they will do whatever is asked of them.

Dealing with people for me is the catalyst that pushed me to a higher level of ministry. Seeing hungry and thirsty saints that were not getting their needs met, made me realize that I could not preach just any message/word. I saw that in order for the people that really wanted God and His righteousness, it was going to take me seeking God for a relevant and practical word. And if I was to give it to them, I would have to delve deeper into the word myself. As you said in the video, that is one of my heart's joys, to see someone grow in Christ; to see someone go from a babe only wanting milk, to someone who needs to chew on some meat in the Spirit!

You talked about dealing with people as far as their personalities, their intentions, and their motives. I think for me, I have the mind set that my ministry is to God; not just in church but in life as well. People are going to be loving, kind, nasty and messy, but we can't get caught up in looking at the people. We have to have our eyes focused on God. I'm reminded of a message that Bishop preached when I first started visiting The Z. In the message you talked about Moses and the issue of anger that he never dealt with. In his anger he slew a man and had to flee from the presence of pharaoh. In his anger he threw down the ten commandment tablets, and later had to cut new tablets himself. In his anger, Moses struck the rock and was not allowed to enter into the promised land. He allowed the people to frustrate him. Instead of acting in a Godly manner, he re-acted to their murmuring and rebellious ways. If we keep our eyes on the main thing, Jesus, we will not re-act to what people say or do, but we will show forth His Spirit in adverse situations.

 

Awesome!!! Which do you think is more important? An educational degree or experience in ministry by building relationships?

Feb 19Edited: Feb 19

Those were my thoughts upon watching the video "Dealing with People". Now to answer the questions: (lol)

Do you have a heart for people?

YES! Personally, I'm a loner, and I'm very comfortable with that. I don't need interaction with people, but the Christ in me pulls me to certain people, and makes me want to pour into them. However I have learned that I can't pour into everyone. It would frustrate me to know that people had the knowledge to grow but they didn't want to go through the process. Now I've matured! lol I've learned to plant seeds and if they grow, I water them. If they don't grow, I look at it as either God will use someone to push them to grow or that they were like the ground types found in Matt. 13 and was not conducive for growth. In either case my job was to sow the seed. He's also given me a empathetic heart for people. I feel their pain , their sorrow, as well as their joy and happiness. It's a blessing and a curse (lol)!

Do you like people?

Plain and simple; Yes, I do like people.

Can you love people who don't like you?

Yes! It pains me to say it, but I know from experience. I've had people stab me in the back, start rumors about me, and everything else. If it had been strangers, I wouldn't have cared, but these were people that I loved: my former pastor, my mother, sisters and brothers. God even had me humble myself and start the reconciliation process when I was the one who was wronged. Yeah when you love God more than anything, you'll love people who dislike you, who spit on you, who lie on you, etc..

Discuss the struggles of having a "people" centered ministry initiative.

I think one of the main struggles we have with a people centered ministry initiative is that we get so caught up with the "people" that we forget about the "ministry". We forget that we are serving/ministering to God by serving people. It has to be ever present in our thought process as we serve. Paul talks about this in Colossians 3. Whatever we do, do it unto the Lord! With this in mind, when people hurt me or disappoint me, it never was about them. I did what I did for two reasons: the love I have for Christ, and to give Him glory.

@Christopher Johnson There are benefits from both. With an educational degree you benefit from a wealth of literature and studies that other wise would take you a life time to come across. Having great instructors to push you in unlearned areas help as well, but for the most part I believe in OJT, On the Job Training. There is nothing like it. I can read all the books get all of the opinions of scholars, but until I get my own feet wet, I have empty knowledge.

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Jesus said in John 13:34 &35 A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

Growing up in a Pastor's home , allowed me to see first hand how my dad was loved and hated for his stand in Christ. He never changed who he was to please people. Yet he loved everybody. Even the church mother that put glass in her spaghetti and tried to get him to eat it! Thank God for discernment and wisdom. He showed great strength dealing with that situation and many others like it. It's one of the things we admire about him to this day. Watching his example, I decided at a young age to love people on purpose. Through the good and the bad. Which lead me into a nursing career. Some would say that too is a calling. It is my prayer to always have a heart for the people. Yes. it hasn't been easy, but with Him all things are possible. I really want to see people doing well in life. I know now from experience that no matter what you do, some you're just not going to win. That's okay, our job is to love. I believe that will please our Father in Heaven.

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